“You’re living at a time of extremism, a time of revolution, a time when there’s got to be a change. People in power have misused it, and now there has to be a change and a better world has to be built and the only way it’s going to be built is with extreme methods. And I for one will join in with anyone, I don’t care what color you are, as long as you want to change this miserable condition that exists on this earth. Thank you.” Bookmark and Share Bookmark and Share



7.11.2009

something worthwhile: return of the prodigal


This is officially my third comeback blog. Hopefully my last. Two's a shame and three's company. My life has drastically changed since my last post in March '08. I wrote from a place of spiritual darkness and creative complacency; a stance of brokeness in sin. I pitched my tent in a foreign place before the Lord; my spirit seethed rebellion. I was Lot's wife, Noah, Saul; a young James Dean without a movie screen.

Knowledge of His heart inspired my retirement. Once I began to realise (yes, the Queen's English) how high the stakes were on my life, I couldn't keep defiling my spirit and body with 40's and blunts. When the reality of God's love and judgement touched my spirit I couldn't respond in any other way besides submission. I felt inwardly the reality of two very real elements, his love and judgment. Once I decided to return to following him, after 2 years of distance, the restoration I experienced was immediate. There was no 'purgatory in my spirit,' I abounded in the freedom to enjoy God, feel loved and enjoyed by Him: the love element.

The judgment aspect was very alive in my spirit via the fear of God (Ps. 86:11). I felt strongly that if decided to pull another Lot's wife and "return to my vomit" (a disgusting an analogy) I'd lose my life. Not in some cutesy existential way, literally. Several days later I went to church for the first time in months and my pastor told me the same thing. Okay God, I got it. Since then I stuck with Him. Not out of fear of death, earthly or otherworldly; out of lovesickness. This world and the things of this world hold nothing to a lovesick God.

Now, to create is to pen in Him. Everything has renewed meaning. Once your mind is captured by the sheer desire of His being all else changes. I'm back, and not just as a writer, blogger, social networker, but as a old prodigal son who got some sense along the way.

Thank you Lord.

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