“You’re living at a time of extremism, a time of revolution, a time when there’s got to be a change. People in power have misused it, and now there has to be a change and a better world has to be built and the only way it’s going to be built is with extreme methods. And I for one will join in with anyone, I don’t care what color you are, as long as you want to change this miserable condition that exists on this earth. Thank you.” Bookmark and Share Bookmark and Share



12.13.2009

new apple tablet?

Besides Isaiah, this "Apple" tablet is def blogworthy. Check it out.



my thinking is, if this isn't the new apple tablet, apple had better come out with something far better than this. most of the macworld scoffs that this isn't from apple, that it's a fanboy, a knock-off-- that seems hard to swallow.

my guess, this is a pre-model/prototype: a working model that apple created as a sample, work in progress, if you will. time will tell. what do you think?

11.01.2009

nanowrimo is upon us

Alright folks, in 30 minutes the page of Nov. 1 will turn into existence. At that moment I am officially on my grizzle (grind :). I've been buzzing about National Novel Writing Month since I signed up for it 2 weeks ago. A few things I'm on as midnight approaches:

1) I generally won't be available this month (unless I give up on my quest for 50,000 words and give up my writing career, not likely.) It'll be interesting to keep it all in perspective being that I have two jobs, two ladies (d.marie and chlo), and 11/10 (if you don't know already, you wouldn't get it).

2) I feel like this is the jumpstart my writing career is ready for. When I was offered a book contract by Zondervan in '05 I didn't have to maturity to sustain the potential for success in this realm. Those closest to me know I've been humbled. I've learned to never take anything for granted. Anything; even what's natural to your being, word. 

3) At the end of this, this experience reminds me art is life, life is art.

oh, and I won't quit on the Isaiah 55 takes until we've reached the end of the chapter. much love. stay tuned.

10.30.2009

Update on Isaiah 55ers

I'll be spreading the Isaiah 55 blogs to every few days. My work schedule is varied, at best, and outside of putting in mad hours, I'm constructing a novel for nanowrimo. "Stick with me and I'll stick with you." I forget what Denzel movie that's from. Anybody know? :)

After some intense research, the above quote is from "City of God," def on my brilliant flick list.

10.27.2009

Open Letter to the Passionate Seekers of IGN

In the search of life and meaning, weigh these words and ideas against the soundboard of your mind and spirit. I found this media insightful and incisively clear to the core of my seeking. Dig. Find. Live.

10.26.2009

all the single ladies. folk rethought. def blogworthy.

what really captured me about this video is how culturally accessible hip hop/r&b is. Pomplamoose, the folk who put this together mentioned, "we love this song. the chord progression in the chorus is genius. hooray for beyonce and her songwriters." check it out.

Isaiah 55.2 - the red pill


I think it's great that in only day two we're at a crossroads, a place of decision, a line of demarcation. The red or the blue pill? Take the red pill and your eyes will be opened to the affections of God toward you, his desire for you and part of his design for your life. Take the blue pill and you'll wake up in bed, just as you were the night before, unruffled, the status quo maintained. What will it be? Since I'm not Morpheus, you've taken the red pill if you're still reading...

WHY SPEND MONEY ON WHAT IS NOT BREAD,
AND YOUR LABOR ON WHAT DOES NOT SATISFY?
LISTEN, LISTEN TO ME, AND EAT WHAT IS GOOD,
AND YOUR SOUL WILL DELIGHT IN THE RICHEST OF FARE. -Isaiah 55.2


Listen, listen, the free purchase from the gracious merchant, saves our hell-strong souls; it's THE story to be told. 
Tell it from the heights man, it's not for sale--
Why do we put in work for, what' not hopeful, the unpleasing? It seems inadvertently easy.

That's the set up, the big fix-it, that decays the mass of our soul. Still he waits, listen, listen.
Digest what is good and let your soul glisten.
WE WERE NOT INTENDED FOR DARKNESS. Let your lights shine and your hands work. 

-  -
I love how God makes himself so accessible. I imagine him pulling up a stool before a small, intense audience and starts with, "listen, come in close, listen." Look at what Psalm 65.4 says about our Abba,

Blessed is the man You choose,
And cause to approach You,
That he may dwell in Your courts.
We shall be satisfied with the goodness of Your house, 
Of Your holy temple. 

God doesn't want us to live far from him. He desires a upfront, relevant, meaningful exchange with us. How can we live in this reality? 

a) First things first, if you haven't already, ask the Lord for forgiveness based on what He did on the cross. Christ's crucifixion and death atoned (which literally means an "adjustment of a difference, reconciliation, restoration to favor") for us, bringing us into a righteous standing before God. The difference or debt paid is sin, a trait none of us can deny. God demands a wage, a payment for the sin we do in this life. He could have held our debt to us personally, but in a remarkable act of love and grace, He sent his only son, our Lord Jesus Christ to die for us, for our sins done in this life. Here is grace. Here is love.


Trusting in Christ's death and resurrection reconciles us to God and a life of freedom. Romans 10:9-13 give the road map for redemption. Verse 9 and 10 are exquisitely clear, I love their simplicity. "That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and WITH THE MOUTH CONFESSION IS MADE UNTO SALVATION." Verse 13, "For whoever calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved."


Now we can say with assurance that "as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our sins from us" -Psalm 103:12.


Now that that light matter is out of the way, how can we "listen, come and listen close?"


1) I believe it starts with pursuing a loving and leaning heart. A inner life that loves and trusts God. We find numerous references to this person in scripture. The adoring glare corresponds to the trusting heart because they're almost one in the same. It's hard to trust who you don't love, and it's tough to love who you don't trust. 


The heart that loves, listens intently to the things of God; And the heart that trusts is able to believe what it hears. Let's ask God for these qualities and exercise them once he imparts them. That's the only to get this heart folks, asking God and moving in their anointings. 

2) Pray/Read the Scriptures!
This prayer model is something I've recently embodied, and it has blown my mind! I've never been a believer in scripted prayers or models, and was even skeptical when I came across this. This follows the basic ideology of 'teach us to pray' by simply praying the scriptures. We have to lay hold of His promise. Let's get it!


This approach is biblical in that, we see examples from Paul and David as they prayed the written Scriptures to God in search of power and resolve. This model is more so the application of what the leaning and loving heart hears. Here is where we find the strength to walk out our faith. 


Thank you for your gifts Abba (Father)!


He has not dealt with us according to our sins, 
Nor punished us according to our iniquities.


For as the heavens are high above the earth,
So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; 

As far as the east is from the west, 
So far has He removed our transgressions from us.





 



10.20.2009

Isaiah 55 - Pt. 1


Hey guys, I felt compelled to do a study on Isaiah 55 after getting a preview to what the Lord is communicating in it. I'll be posting some thoughts each day for the next 13 days(thatwasambitionspeaking :), one blog for each verse. Let's dialogue over this. How does this verse affect you? Where does it take you?

Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money: come ye, buy and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. ISAIAH 55:1.


All of you who have walked in the heat of this life and have grown thirsty, come to the water of God: A fountain which knows no end and never runs dry. This is where we will find fulfillment every time, at the God's eternal water cooler. Whenever I'm spiritually parched, as soon as I connect with the living God through prayer, the Word or worship I feel  refreshed. Every time. Not always with the same intensity, but whenever I reach towards Him, he answers me somehow. At times, through a sense of His presence or the words of an encouraging bro/sis and especially through the circumstances of my day. God is always calling us to himself, the key is in listening and responding. Take one step toward Him and He takes three to you. "Come near to God and he will draw near to you" (James 4:8).

Water from God's cooler will not cost you. He that hath no money; come ye, buy and eat... Being broke doesn't disqualify you from God's bodega! Yea, come, buy wine and milk WITHOUT PRICE. What kind of God is this? Really. He gives us access to him by offering his son (1 John 4:10, Romans 3:25) and now, he says come and enjoy the finer things in God (wine) AT NO COST.

In God's economics, what it will cost you is the freedom to pursue wayward desires. We can't have the wine of God and the dregs of this world. Why would we want the two? Because we're human, it's in our nature. Going after both gets us nowhere, actually according to Scripture it's better we wholeheartedly pursue a life of sin, rather than experience the goodness of the Lord then return to our sin (2 Peter 2:22). Choosing God will cost us our lives of sin and pain that deceive under veils of self-fulfillment. You tell me if it's a fair trade.

Lord/Pops/Abba, thank you for the free gift of favor. It speaks love to us. Show us what that means to our everyday life. We love you.

10.13.2009

the leave

“You’re living at a time of extremism, a time of revolution, a time when there’s got to be a change. People in power have misused it, and now there has to be a change and a better world has to be built and the only way it’s going to be built is with extreme methods. And I for one will join in with anyone, I don’t care what color you are, as long as you want to change this miserable condition that exists on this earth. Thank you.”

 What does it mean to let go of the good in xchange for great? I must answer this question with my life this week. It may be one of the hardest calls to make: to move on from something that shows promise to go to something that seems promising. I'm no saint, but I believe my efforts can be better used elsewhere. I've reached my ceiling. My head is cramped beneath it's heights.

the response...later

10.07.2009

here in Catalyst, ATL.


the pardovani's and the bryant's made the 9.5 hour trek to duluth, georgia; mostly due to preggo mommy stops and the occasionally 'i eat that!' from my chloe (2 yrs old). we're here and we expect a few things from the trip/conference/fellowship.

1) revolution in our minds touching our leadership.
this must occur; else this whole trip with be 'in vain.' of course, save the fact that we've bonded more as friends and family in the LORD. the reason we trek is because we want to see His appearing in our lives and in our influence towards others. 

2) influential meetups and networking
i've been called a power networker in the past. not sure if she was calling me a workaholic or an overall brillant guy (hehe) but i love building bonds over common grounds and influence.

in this age, we need humble influencers in their various fields forging kingdom partnerships (to serve our end goal). why isn't this occuring more in our ranks?

3) a ton of freebies!
i hear the catalyst conference is well known for their abundance of goodies. and listen, this is not your bumper stickers handout! i'm talking jump drives, laptop sleeves and the like. let's get it!!

all in all, we love to love you Lord. We beckon your coming...be in our midst.

10.06.2009

the catalyst.

up early on a tuesday morning. how does my mind merge with the saviour's?
I want to grow.
To sit, like children do, under the shade de Dios' amor;
the secret place, where the moss and foxes cannot corrupt.
On the daily, I seek the only oil capable of handling these ashy elbows and worn knees
(It's His face I seek).

On Tuesday mornings, I'll sip Cafe Bustelo over penchants of intimacy and notions of wisdom. Let's cultivate it here, in the crevices of lost chapters and finite words. i'll sit, please speak; let those words be louder than the reverberating echoes in my mind.

I want my leadership to emanate the reality of Abba's love.

I believe I can get closer to this reality this week. At Catalyst.

9.30.2009

the restless ones

recently i've been questioning: what i do, how i execute it, what my motives are; a necessary process for a thinking, retrospective (yet presently developing) man. in all those pensive moments, what does my thought amount to? 

a place of decision and pause we're i'm left to again, evaluate my stance.

9.07.2009

man of parts

two part poem: first half, i was steeped in sin, looking for an exit. (watchdogs: some time ago :)

second half: was written after God answered the former words.

-  -
part 1ne. the flight

a long time coming,
a poet in revival; who stares inward at the looking glass.
time fell, like words lost in translation.
now i mourn those concoctions over monday morning cups of slow.
those words are lost forever like the obits in the rear of smudged pages.

i want to walk forward beyong the moss like Clif did,
but feel restrained by sticky greens that ripe in dead men's backyards.

is it worth it to be disillusioned for late night afternoons?

i want you more than life,
so place me between your arms and let me lay.
send me to drink until i'm satisfied; for the well i seek leads to dusty death.
the crimson rope i tied roundabout my neck inclines me to The Pit;
but my longing for you is my reprieve.
what saves me is my longing for you.
let me find you before this ashen grave consumes me.
your love will consecrate,

it will render.

it has,

it does,

it will.

set me free like those before. let my words praise you, as they're borne to.
they will chase and find you.
they will reach your doorstep in batches inscribed, "i love you too,"
they are your joy and my freedom; the redemption words.
set me free.

-  -

part two. the fight

NOW ALIVE, not bound by happenstance,
DNA,
strongholds,
chains or grab-at's.
this life, no longer mine, it's yours.
the slick try that's inside won't collide with the I.
Elohim.
King of kings.
The nations will all know you.
Alpha y Omega, sings clear through my bones.

Is this possible?
that a little drummer boy,
who pitter-pattered and ate noise,
set down demon's toys,
And beheld The Man?

by default i now call on the name
who's change splits chains,
I, I won't stay the same.
in the high grass of my soul,
i will gaze,
i will praise;
on and off seasons,
i will speak those things--

simply, i am dead,
to mediocre sub par notions,
beaten and changed up backwoods, on ravenswood back blocks; i'm not that dude.
dead to life unreal,
dead to a here under veils of smoke and mirrors and her--
done to the ways of the off-set stance, side-skirting wisdom under false pretense.

I'M YOURS, never to return again to sauline rebellion.
This is The Stand, tell 'em.

9.06.2009

la Luz

I just came back from a morning walk. I wanted to get away from the blaring, obnoxious angst of la television and hear myself think. I did.

Thoughts of God came to mind; the car to the left definitely helped. a verse about Jesus as light came to mind. "Yet a little while is the light with you. Walk while ye have the light..." (John 12:35). I realised how unbelievable it is to have union with the light of the world. In the above verse Jesus speaks both of himself and the times we live in. During the time this quote was transcribed, he'd leave them shortly; just as, in this present age, we don't know how long we have the chance to respond to His love for us. 

But, more so, the reality that we walk with THE light of the world hit me (john 1:4-5, 9). Just to think that the being who created the cosmos is the same God who calls man "his beloved" (deut. 33:12, psalms 127:2). Jesus speaks about his relationship with the believer, "I am his and he is mine (song of songs 2:16)." How can this be possible?

I've been looking up verses with the word 'light' in them, and have found three strains: the word used to depict Jesus (john 3:19) , the actions of some of his people, and as an entity unto itself. I expected the first two uses, but the last made me delve. That led to two trains of thought, when light is used as an entity; 1) either its actually an allegory speaking of Christ that I simply don't see or 2) God has created forces of influence outside of himself that are utilised by the Holy Spirit, and obey God ordained commands and statutes. (disclaimer for the watchdogs: I am not adding to scripture, nor am I placing my whimsical thought alongside established doctrine. 'nuff said. Don't smile too long). Peep this verse, "For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ" (2 Cor. 4:6. Deep water, eh?). The act of God telling "the light to shine" is almost a strategy statement for light. If that's true, I believe this is it's vision statement,  "That was the true Light which gives light to every man coming into the world" (John 1:9).

Ironically, the earth and planets revolve around the sun, which is our source of energy and shines it's LIGHT on us. The act of photosynthesis turns energy into into food, which brings nourishment . Without the SON we found ourselves spiritually inept and malnourished. We cannot live off the bread of this world. 

My grandmother used to always say, "stand up to be seen, speak up to be heard, and sit down to be appreciated." I'm going to sit down, but before I do; I believe this concept of light, as it pertains to scripture and science, is a ripe fruit just waiting to be picked. How can we make sense of this in our lives?

Beholding Jesus as the light of the world will do two things to us:

1) Drastically affect the way we approach God.

His loveliness woos us to behold him as the beautiful, lovesick God. He's not shining to appeal to himself. He's beckoning passionate worshipers who abandon self and seek his beauty. 
If when we pray, we recall that his light "gives light to every man coming into the world," we'd quake with a holy trembling and awe at the lovesick Messiah, who pursues us into fellowship.

2) Revolutionize the way we minister.

Remember what Jesus said about his cousin John. Yes, the Baptist, yes, the forerunner, yes, the light. 
He was a burning and shining light: and ye were willing for a season to rejoice in his light. But I have a greater witness than that of John: for the works which the Father hath given me to finish, the same works that I do, bear witness of me, that the Father hath sent me.   John 5:35-36
Wow-- "he was a burning and shining light." That's what I'm going for. We live this life in God, not to straddle the line of half oppressed, half mediocre; we live for victory
What would happen to your life if you asked God to establish you as a "burning and shining light?" Also, before I sit, y'all know about that 'greater works than these' paradigm, right? Before our Christ left earth he said, "He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do" (John 14:12a). DID THE SON OF MAN LAY DOWN HIS LIFE, SO THAT WE CAN DO GREATER MIRACLES, MOVE IN GREATER RELATIONSHIPS AND EXPERIENCE GREATER ANOINTING THAT HE? Let's find out. Live like he did. 

-   -


Other tight verses on light: Christ as the light. John 3:19, John 12:35, John 1:9
Light as an application/entity. 1 Cor. 4:5, 2 Cor. 4:4, 2 Tim. 1:10
His people as lights. Matt. 5:14, Luke 12:35, John 5:35, Ephesians 5:8, 14

much love--

9.05.2009

OT

When I'd read the old testament, it'd be like viewing an ancient relic that had little relevance in the current. I thought of the OT as a narrative of things past, with principles we can relate to our present condition.

Fast forward to years later. This morning I opened to the book of Hosea, yeah, it exists. In checking out the summary statements, it was a call to repentance for a spiritually ADHD Israel. Sound like another people we know? Hosea depicts Israel as a broken people, though deeply and intently loved by God. In comparing Israel to The Church of the west, I see many parallels. God is sending out people to call us to look at Him and let go our debilitating ways.

The more I grow, the more continuity I see with those pages.

7.20.2009

a road is upon us (bigstuf.com)

Spirits quake for a trembling, a road is upon us; we wait, we wonder, we sift through words. We attempt to fight the feeling to expect more than we were taught we should have. Is it when we let go the us we were to never hold on to, that you free us? We are you chil'ren; refined by your words of peace and wisdom. Dripping myrrh, your fragrance, I'm entranced by the language. Now I see why they call you Mr.BigStuf--

Albeit on tonight we expect. Our sleep is ehhmm'd by thoughts and notions of deliverance; Interrupted breathes exhaling offbeat. We STAND as reverberations, our words firm like concrete sheets of heavenly observance. A generation of mapped lions, abiding on the hills of Bethlehem. Watch the nymphs say, "oh, it's them again." Now walk tall because our stature tells us so; our enemy quivers in defeatist ignition.

Are we sons of inheritance or perdition? Your answer lies in the cross of verdant light. We are all waiting for his coming; a road is upon us.

Defiantly we hold banners of love over rebellious tribes of media stricken cheerleaders. His kingdom is among us. Wake us before our slumber is perpetual.

7.12.2009

Pray/Read the Scriptures--

Folks, this prayer model is something I've recently embodied, and it has blown my mind! I've never been a believer in scripted prayers or models, and was even skeptical when I came across this. This follows the basic ideology of 'teach us to pray' by simply praying the scriptures. We have to lay hold of His promise. Let's get it!

Here's an excerpt, for the full doc, scroll down:

To be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man… (Eph. 3:16)

F- Fear of God: Father, release the spirit of the fear of God into my heart. Release the lightning and thunder from Your Throne to strike my heart (Rev. 4:5) with Your majesty, that I might live in awe before You. Release Your presence and holy dread that makes me tremble before You. Unite my heart to your heart and Word and cause me to delight in the fear of God.

I will put My fear in their hearts so that they will not depart from Me. (Jer. 32:40)

The Lord…you shall hallow; let Him be your fear, and let Him be your dread. (Isa. 8:13)

Unite my heart (to Your heart and Word) to fear Your name. (Ps. 86:11)

His delight is in the fear of the LORD… (Isa. 11:3)

E- Endurance (patience): Father, strengthen my spirit with endurance that I may do Your will with zeal and diligence and that I not quit pursuing the deep things of God. Impart endurance for fasting. Direct my heart into the endurance in which Jesus walked. This is a prayer for strength to follow through in my commitments to God and to fulfill my ministry calling when it is difficult.

Being strengthened with all power…may have great endurance and patience… (Col. 1:11 NIV)

May the Lord direct your hearts into…the patience (endurance) of Christ. (2 Thes. 3:5)

It takes the power of God to not quit. If you do not quit in your fervent pursuit you win.

It was written, "Zeal for Thy house will consume me (Jesus)." (Jn. 2:17, NAS)

Zeal for Your house has eaten me (David) up…10 I wept and chastened my soul with fasting that became my reproach. 11 I made sackcloth my garment… (Ps. 69:9-11)

Lord, give me Your zeal as You gave it to Phineas.

Phinehas…was zealous with My zeal among them… (Num. 25:11)

L- Love: Father, pour out Your love into my heart by releasing the influences of the Spirit to give me revelation of Your love for me, that it may overflow in love back to You and to others.

The love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit... (Rom. 5:5)

I pray, that your love may abound still more…in knowledge and all discernment. (Phil. 1:9)

May the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God… (2 Thes. 3:5)

Set Me (Jesus) as a seal on your heart…for love is as strong as death…its flames are flames of fire…7 Many waters cannot quench love, nor can floods drown it. (Song 8:6-7)

Father, impart Your love for Jesus in my heart (Jn. 17:26). I agree with Jesus’ prophecy (Mt. 22:37) to receive grace to love God with all my heart and soul and mind.

That the love with which You loved Me may be in them… (Jn. 17:26)


Thanks IHOP and M. Bickle!

Check out the full .doc file here

7.11.2009

something worthwhile: return of the prodigal


This is officially my third comeback blog. Hopefully my last. Two's a shame and three's company. My life has drastically changed since my last post in March '08. I wrote from a place of spiritual darkness and creative complacency; a stance of brokeness in sin. I pitched my tent in a foreign place before the Lord; my spirit seethed rebellion. I was Lot's wife, Noah, Saul; a young James Dean without a movie screen.

Knowledge of His heart inspired my retirement. Once I began to realise (yes, the Queen's English) how high the stakes were on my life, I couldn't keep defiling my spirit and body with 40's and blunts. When the reality of God's love and judgement touched my spirit I couldn't respond in any other way besides submission. I felt inwardly the reality of two very real elements, his love and judgment. Once I decided to return to following him, after 2 years of distance, the restoration I experienced was immediate. There was no 'purgatory in my spirit,' I abounded in the freedom to enjoy God, feel loved and enjoyed by Him: the love element.

The judgment aspect was very alive in my spirit via the fear of God (Ps. 86:11). I felt strongly that if decided to pull another Lot's wife and "return to my vomit" (a disgusting an analogy) I'd lose my life. Not in some cutesy existential way, literally. Several days later I went to church for the first time in months and my pastor told me the same thing. Okay God, I got it. Since then I stuck with Him. Not out of fear of death, earthly or otherworldly; out of lovesickness. This world and the things of this world hold nothing to a lovesick God.

Now, to create is to pen in Him. Everything has renewed meaning. Once your mind is captured by the sheer desire of His being all else changes. I'm back, and not just as a writer, blogger, social networker, but as a old prodigal son who got some sense along the way.

Thank you Lord.

5.03.2009

the comeback kid (originally pstd 3/08)

ALRIGHT, FOLKS ONCE AGAIN, I'M LEAVING MY SABBATICAL FROM OBSCURITY. THE BRIGHT, SHINY POWERBOOK I BOUGHT THIS WEEK SHOULD ASSIST IN PRODUCTIVITY.

I'VE GOT A SWELL IDEA; IN THE CASE I FALL INTO ANOTHER LETHARGIC RUT, EMAIL, CALL, YOU COULD EVEN BACKHAND ME. I NEED EXTRINSIC MOTIVATION SOMETIMES PPL. I'M NOT ALWAYS ON AUTO-PILOT AND I'M WAY LESS TYPE A THAN I USED TO BE.

SERIOUSLY, I INTEND TO BE A GREAT WRITER. THIS LIFE ISN'T A GAME TO ME AND MORE & MORE I SEE THAT THE TIME WE "HAVE" IS FLEETING AND IS NOT ON THE SIDE OF PRODUCTIVITY AND SUCCESS. TIME AND MORE SO, LAZINESS WILL KILL YOU. NOT INSTANTLY, BUT THIS DEATH DRAWLS ON AND WILL KEEP YOU SEEMINGLY ALIVE FOR YEARS. THE DAGGER IS PLUNGED, WHEN ONE DAY YOU LOOK BACK AND REALIZE THAT YOUR LIFE ISN'T MUCH AND THE ONLY POTENTIALLY POSITIVE THING YOU'VE DONE IS RAISE YOUR THREE LADS; ALL OF WHICH WHERE CREATED BEHIND A BACKDROP OF DRUNKENNESS AND MISINTENT. YOUR AGE IS YOUR CURSE AND YOUR PEERS KNOW IT. YOU KNOW IT, BARELY. YOU MORE SO KNOW THE PANGS OF APATHY, LIFE'S SUCCESS ROBBING NYMPHS. I'VE KNOWN HER WELL.

I HAVEN'T SEEN HER IN MONTHS THOUGH. ALTHOUGH, SHE LEFT A NOTE WHEN SHE LEFT THAT MORNING;
I've never
told anyone what she
said in that letter and i don't
think i ever will.

note: this post was sheepishly removed after i realized i hadn't blogged in a year AFTER my "comeback" to the pen. after my wife pointed out the sheer irony of my drought; why not repost? i also realised (shut up-- i like the queen's english :) the contrast between my voice from march '08 to now. "respek..."