“You’re living at a time of extremism, a time of revolution, a time when there’s got to be a change. People in power have misused it, and now there has to be a change and a better world has to be built and the only way it’s going to be built is with extreme methods. And I for one will join in with anyone, I don’t care what color you are, as long as you want to change this miserable condition that exists on this earth. Thank you.” Bookmark and Share Bookmark and Share



10.28.2006

a guide

i just touched base from watching the flick: "a guide to recognizing your saints." i sit with the resonance i didn't expect to experience. the crux of the film is a boy's relationship with his father and the world that is falling apart around them. dramatically portrayed, i was brought to tears. at the peak of the film the obvious hit me. i felt the sulphuric taste of what my father did, or didn't do, sit on my bottom lip.

absenteeism is the word that emerges amongst all others when i think of my father. i once asked him why he left us. he told me some reason involving his tour with the military. i accepted it then, because we were there in a car; my arm was vulnerable in that damp car, not his. i attempted to wrap my mind around it then but i can't now. for a father to abandon the son he's created must involve more than exploits in south korea. i could accept, fear, impotence, hatred or simply lack of love but not knee high boots and fatigue.

dito stood in the foyer of his building and decided to walk. walk away from the sordid life and the emotional paralyzed father that was all smeared over it. i listened to him then.

--

broken homes aren't a rarity, but they should be.


2 comments:

Hip-Hope Sparrow said...

Black Caucus of the American Library Association
Literary Awards
Three prizes of $500 each are given annually for a book of fiction, a first novel, and a book of creative nonfiction written by an African American and published in the United States during the current year. The awards, presented at the annual meeting of the American Library Association, honor original works of literature that depict the "cultural, historical, or sociopolitical aspects of the African Diaspora." Publishers may nominate books published in 2006 by December 31. There is no entry fee. E-mail for complete guidelines and the list of jurors to whom the books should be sent. (See Recent Winners.)
Black Caucus of the American Library Association, Literary Awards, 3003 Van Ness Street NW, W522, Washington, D.C. 20008. John Page, Awards Chair.
jpage@wrlc.org
www.bcala.org

Heidi on Vashon said...

I think about this topic. When I left the X, he wanted full custody. There was no way that was going to happen since I don't agree with his choices and habits, however, he has the boys just more than half the week, because it is important at their age to have a male present in their formative 8-12-year-old-states. Sometimes I wonder if that was the right decision, one made under a very stressful set of curcumstances. I am holding my breath.